Sunday, September 09, 2007

"With Joy"

I have hypothetical conversations with myself sometimes.

Take the other day, for example.

Just 1 week shy of the day I started pumping last year, I returned the pump.

Let me say that again for emphasis: I returned the pump. 1 week shy of 1 year of pumping. In other words, you might say the pump and I were kind of like beloved friends, having stored up much familiarity.


I took the pump back to IHC Equipment Services, walked in and told the guy at the counter that I just needed to return this. He said it'd be just a minute as he got the paperwork, etc. (Gladly, no problem, etc.)

I got the form certifying the return, signed it, and walked out with my copy, noticing that it specified it was a breast pump return.

I got to the car and was thinking about it, and here's where the conversations-with-self part comes in. I actually was imagining what that guy was thinking as he realized I was turning in a breast pump...thoughts like, "Wow, I bet she's glad to get rid of that thing." Or, "Bet she's glad to be done with that." (Yeah right, though. Unless he'd really seen, in his own life, how diligent one needs to be with those kinds of things and what a labor of love it is (not that I'm complaining---I wouldn't trade anything about how precious it all has been and how blessed I've felt), how could be possibly appreciate how thrilled I really was???) I was thinking about if he had said those things to me and how I would have responded. I pulled out of the parking lot, turned on to Freedom Blvd., kind of smiling to myself, and in answer to that hypothetical query of his, I said outloud, with a bit of a grin somethin' like,

"I'm feelin' the joy, baby, feelin' the joy."

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