Thursday, May 21, 2009

When Scott and I met and dated -- and then eventually married -- it was just the two of us.

But both of us had the anticipation of those we would bring here, of the people that would continue us, be a part of us, make us complete. Now I have moments, when we're all together, that amid the noise or activity that we're doing, or conversation we're having or song we sing together with little voices chiming in -- that I often think to myself, "This is it. Look at these people. Look at what we've created. Isn't this beautiful?"

Do you want to know what the best part about my life is?

The best part is that if anyone asked me what I'd have if I could have anything I ever wanted, any life dream or ambition?

The best part is that I honestly could say I'm living it. .

Right now.

I'd choose this.

But that doesn't mean I don't have my moments. In our faith we have visiting teachers, a way that we help look out for each other, take care of each other, make friends. At our last visit my visiting teacher surprised me by making a comment about how I was just amazing because I had it all together and wasn't frustrated by anything, etc. Seriously? Let me just say that I made sure she knew I have days. Oh my gosh, I have days. I have moments. I have hours. Oh yes, I do.

But the great thing is that I have strikingly beautiful moments. Really gorgeous, lovely moments. I revel in the testosterone that is flowing through my son, cracking me up with his repeated exclamations of "dude!", his need for adrenaline and the way he practically walks in his dad's shadow. The way his voice revs up when he sings or laughs. And the way he'll sing with me at night in his bed, sweet like he doesn't have any of that manliness in him.

And the other one cracks me up with how particular he is. The way he asks me to lie down with him each night. The way he sings songs, loves to be involved in cooking, loves to help with any task you will allow him to participate in, loves gum and food and chips. He is darling to watch when he talks on the phone, so serious and communicative. And he loves his sister, which is so cute to observe.

And my baby. My gosh I love my baby. A friend told me that she will have enough children, but never enough babies, and I feel the same way. I could call this gal my right hand because she is always with me, and it is so nice to always feel loved and needed and adored. That is how she makes me feel, and moments with a baby are magical. Magical. I will never have enough. Her laugh and smiles. Her crazy hair. Her bright blue eyes.

Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a mom. That isn't to say that I don't have other things that I want to do someday, but this dream has been my dream of ALL dreams. And I get to live it.

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