Sunday, December 20, 2009

Puff Revisited

We sing a lot of Puff, the Magic Dragon at our house.

The kids were up late tonight, and even after one of the twins had fallen asleep, the other one wanted me to go in and sing to him. It was about 11:00.
I went into their room, climbed into his bed and lay down next to him. We nuzzled noses and bonked heads and he giggled. This happened a few times and then I asked him what he wanted me to sing.

"Puff. Puffy."
So we started to sing, and I watched his big blue eyes and his long lashes in the low light in his bedroom from the gingerbread train that lights up in all different colors.
And there is a line, every time, that wrenches me in that song when my boys are singing along and I get to listen to their voices. It is this:

"A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys..."

We sang that tonight, and his little voice came in on forever and little boys. Really, my heart hurts each time. What he doesn't realize is that he is that little boy for me. When I hear him and his brother sing that at the top of their lungs, they don't realize that they are growing. They don't realize how sweet and how dear they are. They can't know how much they are engraving in my heart.
I feel a quiet and definite sadness in this.

But, one day, I will tell them about it when I am missing the snuggle time I have now, late at night, with my three-year-olds.
I will tell them how much it means to me now. I hope I can remember the details. And I hope that somehow, even though they are growing, this love grows deeper and sweeter.

It is what matters most.

And, as a post script, I sang in a Christmas program that my dad has organized tonight. It has been happening for 30 years now. And I can't really put words to what happened there, but the Spirit was electrifying. The music was beautiful, and there is something magical that happens when the beautiful texts you are singing proclaim honest, simple, breathtaking truth. And the poetry...oh the poetry! I can't recommend this book highly enough.
(Voices of Christmas by Nikki Grimes)

It touched me through and through and after all that beauty in one evening I left with my heart aching and full.

Who couldn't rejoice for the message of the angels and the shepherds and the prophets about the Savior of the world?

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