Sunday, September 20, 2009

Linking Generations

One evening a couple of weeks ago I visited my grandmother's condo. My grams was moving in with my aunt and my mom asked me if I wanted to look through what was left at the condo to see if I wanted anything my grandma wasn't taking with her. It was really weird for me to walk around her boxed up, empty house and think of all the memories and precious moments spent in that sacred spot. I took with me a bright yellow tin with postage stamps on it from all over the world that my grandma had made. It was her recipe box. I took some hand crocheted snowflakes that were from a tablecloth crocheted by my great grandmother for my grandma on her wedding day. Those were the prizes of the day. As I went back into the dark that night and got in my car to head to the track to run, my emotions and heart were very full. I thought about being so lucky to have been blessed with wonderful grandparents that I've known for all these years and spent so much time with, and for stellar parents whose love and guidance and friendship have directed and blessed my life. I thought of the many hours spent in just that spot, the laughter, the card games, the licorice and fudgesicles, the hugs and five kisses on each cheek.

A chapter was closing and I knew it, and I was giving it up reluctantly.

Running that night I was thinking about the continuous loop of the track, coming back on itself, the same circle over and over. And since I was thinking about my grandma and all the lovely years we had and my parents -- all of these lovely people -- I thought about how I was running the same course that they've been on. I was almost reduced to tears more than once as I made my way through those couple of miles that night. I remembered crossing the marathon finish line for the first time, how emotional that was for me. I remember meeting family at the finish and being touched by the analogy of each of us running the course in this life and cheering each other on, being there at the end and celebrating together. As all of this came together in my mind, I didn't want Father Time to take these special people from me, for these experiences and moments to be finished on this earth. I didn't want us to have to be separated. And it made me grateful again for the resurrection and inspired me to run my leg of this race STRONG. To bring honor and a worthy name and legacy back to those who gave it to me and to be able to embrace once again and celebrate together.
I don't feel like I can quite express it but it was so powerful.

The last couple of weeks we have been preparing to move, and this upcoming change has made me feel reflective. My father is such a dear heart to me, and I have enjoyed all of the special moments that we have shared from living together again for awhile. Last night we watched a movie together and then my dad and Scott and I were up talking. It is moments like that --- just simple ones --- that mean the most. These are the moments that I will remember.

And I've thought about people this week that have been significant in my life, that have blessed me in so many ways.

This past Tuesday I was parking the car in the Shopko parking lot. I went to buy laundry baskets that were on sale and I was listening to this devotional from the university on the radio because the prophet was speaking. His first words were, "You're quite a sight." And then he said something to the effect of, "You are the heart and soul of the parents of this church." Let me tell you what happened when I heard that. My heart caught in my throat. It was a merciful moment for me. I was just about to negotiate taking all three of my small kids into the store. I love this life work of mine, and my busy hands are happy in all the physical demands of taking care of my little ones. That being said, it can also be exhausting. Sometimes I am out of patience and frustrated, with them and with myself. But I heard those words and they resonated deep within me. Those three little people were carseat-to-carseat snug in the seat behind me. I could hear them talking to each other, hear the familiar sounds they make. And right then, in my mind's eye, it was almost as if I was looking back on my life -- seeing this particular time, this particular busy season where my children are young and always around me -- and I knew that this would be a time I would always remember, look back on, even miss. And I heard those words and I thought it was perfect -- he said it exactly right.

They are my heart and soul.

And it is such a privilege to be their mother.

And I wanted to share this beautiful video with you. It touched me today.

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