Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Some Thoughts

We have not sent out Christmas cards for a bonafide 4! years. And we just had to send one out that year because the boys had been born and we had to announce parenthood to twins to the world (of course!).

But then, I thought just now, "Sorry, Mimi, that we didn't announce you."

That little girl has been the absolute joy of my life. Really.

I already feel like I have a best friend in the making, in the flesh, with me all the time.

Just this morning she was following me around as I was vacuuming upstairs. I sat her down on the dining table and she was playing with the Native American figures we have our with pilgrims for fall decor. I walked over to her and she had them laying in her lap and told me that they were asleep. I sensed the little mother in her that I'm beginning to see bloom.

Sometimes, when the boys are gone at preschool, we will slip away and look at the baby dolls at the store. She never seemed particularly interested in the girl toys until now. And now...she wants a baby doll so bad it kills me every time. And I would have bought her one except that there is one wrapped up in a present from her grammy for her birthday. So I'm waiting. Sometimes it's so hard to wait when you're a parent.

It's hard to wait when you have anticipation for something that will make them happy.

It's hard to wait and bite your tongue when you're on the verge of losing it.

I think it can just be hard to wait. To learn patience and grace.

It's hard to allow your self to allow yourself to take time to develop into something beautiful, for your character to mold to who you really want to be someday -- despite all imperfections.

It's hard to wait when you want so badly for something to work out, when you want to catch a glimpse of what it will be like down the road...if the waiting will be worth it.

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