Making Time

(a favorite from our family pics, taken just a few weeks ago)

Last night Mia and I went to Young Women. She said to me as we arrived, "Mom, you always go to Young Women's, and I always want to go with you."

She cuddled into me.

Sat on my lap.

Earlier in the day as she followed me out to the garden to get an onion and beets inside the ground, I thought about how I often pay more attention to her by virtue of her being my baby right now.

I end up feeling guilty because I don't love on my boys as much.

But then there are moments where I remember.

And I realize how much more of a concerted effort I need to make, and what I'm missing out on if I don't.

We got home last night and prayed, read scriptures, read a story.

I tucked my boys into bed and went to get Mia ready for bed.

As I was leaving their room, Isaiah said something to me that he frequently says at bedtime,

"Mom, if you have some time, do you think you could come snuggle?"

The "if you have some time" kills me.

I got little Miss ready for bed, teeth brushed, tucked her in.

And then I went back into the boys' room and climbed up into his bunk.

Usually when I'm there we talk about certain things.

Last night, we lay there in the quiet, my body snuggled up next to his, my arm across his chest.

I asked him if he wanted me to sing him a song before I left.

He requested "Silent Night," and I was grateful for a simple moment, in a very quiet way,

to sing my conviction of that event to him in the dark.

I found myself wondering how many more years til that sweet boy of mine won't ask me to snuggle with him anymore.

I went down and snuggled with his brother on the bottom bunk.

The cutest thing?

He said, "Let me put my arm around you," and put it around my neck and rubbed my arm with his other hand.

He wanted a song about Santa Claus.

5 short years since they were born.

When they became my everything.

When suddenly, the most coveted title of all, Mother, became mine.

I treasure them.

I'm grateful for Isaiah, who asks for my time.

He won't always do this.

I need to remember.

I need to be there.

Even if it's been a hard day.

Maybe especially on those days.

Those days, I am almost always foolish enough to forget.

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