Wednesday, May 25, 2016

My things

A couple of things.

I've decided I need to take sleep more seriously (meaning that I need more of it).  
So, I've been making a concerted effort the last couple of nights to go to bed earlier, and I've noticed a difference.
Let's see how I'm doing a month from now.
(I've made this resolution before.)

And, I like to have a plan.
Last night, after I got the kids in bed, I came upstairs.
The deck lights were on and the sprinkler was going out on the new sod.

As it got dark, I sat at the kitchen table looking at numbers, setting financial goals, planning out how things are going to work.  
Thinking about where I want to be come December, putting things on paper so I can visually see it. Planning ahead for things I'll need to cover.
About halfway through, I went outside to change the sprinkler and got thoroughly soaked, came back inside, and sat down with one whole leg completely wet.

Something about sitting there under the lights of the kitchen table, listening to a favorite new tune and putting things in order made me strangely happy.
Like putting my ducks in a row, and hoping for the best.

Before going downstairs to read for a few minutes and settle in, I ran to Sonic to get pebble ice.
It's one of my favorite things, and I pretty much crunch on some every night as I sip water.

I fell asleep thinking.
A little after 7:00 this morning, I woke up thinking about my people.
I'm pretty sure I dreamed something about my dad.
And I was having a conversation with my mom at one point about my grandfather's death date: January 12, 1995.
And I think I dreamed about a baby girl, too.
I couldn't really put a finger on the dream bits about my dad and the baby. 
It was just like I knew they'd been there.

I got out of bed and went for a run.

And, here's the thing.
Sometimes the pieces that make up your core resurface: the people that have been the crux of it all, the pieces of yourself that define you.
My people -- mother, father, grandparents, siblings, children.
And motherhood.

Those are my things.

They're ultimately my only things. 

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