Thursday, May 25, 2006

Near and dear to me, that's what you are

So...I haven't posted in over two months. I was doing good there for a while, and then got out of the groove. I don't always know what to write, and I hate wondering if something is "post" worthy or not. It's kind of a weird thing posting random things and letting it be open to the public view (I kind of agree with Rachel on this). I have a hard time believing that it's meaningful to whoever else reads the minute details of my life. But, I have to say that I enjoy reading others' daily tidbits of whatever, and the randomness is what I love about it. So maybe it's not that bad after all.
I started writing another song a while ago, and the little tagline that started it was, "Near and dear to me, that's what you are." I only have a chorus, but it was/could have been/will be maybe a cute kind of love song or I don't know what. The phrase had come to my head in regards to my dad, and I can't remember where I got it from. BUT, after finding out two weeks ago that Scott and I are going to have twin boys, I found myself thinking about the song in a new light. Near and dear, yes. They are compact in my belly, but moving around nonetheless. Whenever I watch the ultrasound video, I watch in amazement that they are actually inside of me and moving around. I think I've felt them a couple times, but it's not enough that I'm positive that it's them in there. I was thinking about the bond that they will share and watching them grow, and thinking about the near and dear phrase. THEN, a line from the chorus says, "My heart doesn't beat without thinking of yours." Both times we've heard the heartbeat(s), we've only heard one. Maybe they're synchronized?? Fits again. Maybe this song will be about them after all. I just have this vision of them being an inseparable pair, buddies, out in the dirt and mud, taking over the world, muddy little feet trailing into the house. In any case, I can already say to them, "Near and dear to me, that's what you are." I'll whisper it to the belly tonight. Maybe they'll hear me.

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