Sometimes I think it's possible to look without seeing.
One night recently I was in the bathroom before bed.
I was staring off -- and then realized that I was looking at one of my favorite pics from our engagement photos several years ago, a orange/brown sepia shot of our faces, close together, sitting on the window ledge.
I was looking, but I hadn't seen it until my eyes focused again.
Sometimes it can be easy to imagine what it might be like if things were different.
The journey of our lives on a chronological road, and we wonder about the possibilities of alternate turns.
If things had gone a different way or we'd gotten what we wanted or thought we needed in certain situations.
If it had happened how we had it mapped out.
Or, we remember things in the past and can live there for awhile.
Or we plan into the future, thinking contentedness will come when this or when that occurs and we feel we've finally arrived.
Sometimes I think we figuratively can look at the glass and not see the picture beneath it.
The beauty of living right now and embracing what is and finding the glorious beauty there.
I don't want to miss the moment of now.
We don't know what will happen in our future lives.
Death could change something in a moment.
An accident could forever shift the landscape.
Change is inevitable, always.
When I gazed at the glass that night, I felt really reminded of this, probably in the context of what I was reading at the time. A fiction memoir, of sorts, with the main character reflecting on her life and looking back and saying things like, "if I had known then would what happen...".
I want to live now, because I don't know what's ahead. And if we look back or look forward searching for something different, we miss the now.
The people who love you.
The individuals who make your life all worth it.
The relationships that have meant the most.
"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now."
---President Thomas S. Monson