Old Photos

Unrelated to this post, but I stumbled on this old post tonight and it made me laugh.
And this one amused me a couple of weeks ago.
I love coming back to things that I have forgotten.
I love my kids.

And now, to today.

I've been feeling pretty nostalgic lately.

Maybe it's because this week will mark the year anniversary of my Dad's death.

Maybe it's because I have been sifting through a lot of old family photos for a celebration to be held next week in honor of my Grandfather's 90th birthday.

I have thought about their lives and places that were significant to them, thought about how quickly time passes -- and is passing -- and feel a little haunted by that.

When I stumbled on this photo of my grandparents last week, I loved it from the start.  

I had never seen it before.

Isn't it beautiful?  

Don't you love my Grandma's wide, happy, beautiful smile?  

Aren't they so handsome together?  

It made me think of stories that I've heard of the dedication they had to each other -- the sweetness and depth and commitment that was between them.  

Of the limited time they had together because of the long hours that my Grandpa worked.  The way my Grandma, according to my dad, would always have a hot meal waiting for him when he got home late into the night.  

Of how she didn't complain (holy Moses!).  

Of how they were always united in front of their kids.  

The pictures I love of them square dancing together.  

The way they supported each other.  

I think of that legacy, and it's a tall order for me -- even a little intimidating cuz it highlights failures of mine, but it inspires me to want to be better.  

Their love was -- and is -- a beautiful thing.  

I can feel it across the decades.

And this.

My cute dad, feeding a fawn, as a little guy.

It's currently the screen saver on my phone, and I see it several times a day.

My heart kind of gets stuck here -- even in happy ways, and that's okay.  

He may be gone, but he hasn't gone.

He's still here.

Still in this heart.

A History of Strolling

Yesterday as I headed out to the stroller with my phone, keys, jacket for Benji, water bottle, and three bags of popcorn for their snacking pleasure, I grabbed my camera, too.  

I couldn't help but think about how this has been such a part of me and them.

I wish I had a log of all the many miles I've done using a stroller.

One day, the children will hear how a significant chunk of their baby/toddler years was spent as we walked and ran, getting fresh air, admiring beauty, slowing the day down.

Honestly.  

I can't even begin to guess.

Last night I looked through photos, just to prove it.

And there are many not pictured here, too.

I can see these little people growing up, right in front of my eyes, mile after mile after mile.

Self Portrait For Courtney's Blog

Here ya go, CJane.