To Guide Us In These Latter Days

Just over a week ago, we got to listen to a general conference of the church.

It happens twice a year, and these weekends have become places of rest for me---rest, renewal, peace, strength, and love.

This time as I listened, I felt conviction, and I felt God's love in personal ways.

I heard messages that strengthened me, words I needed to hear.

Here are some pictures from our conference weekend, complete with waffles, conference books to take notes in, activities as we listened, fried chicken and mashed potatoes, caramel apples, lighting our first fire of the season to sit by while we read Summer of the Monkeys in the cool darkness of night, with the door open so we could hear the wind rustling out in the trees outside.

And, interspersed between the photos, I've put just a portion of my favorite quotes from conference, with links to the talks that they came from.

"Scripture says, 'Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good.' This doesn't mean all things are good, but for the meek and faithful, things---both positive and negative---work together for good, and the timing is the Lord's.  We wait on Him, sometimes like Job in his suffering, knowing that God 'maketh sore, and bindeth up: he woundeth, and his hands make whole.' A meek heart accepts the trial and the waiting for that time of healing and wholeness to come. ...in order to have a healed and faithful heart, we must first allow it to break before the Lord. 'Ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit,' the Lord declares.  The result of sacrificing our heart, or our will, to the Lord is that we receive the spiritual guidance we need."  (Sister Neill F. Marriott -- for full talk, go here)

(she has a new-found love of dumping out glue)

"The Holy Ghost doesn't tell us to improve everything at once.  If He did, we would become discouraged and give up.  The Spirit works with us at our own speed, one step at a time, or as the Lord has taught, 'line upon line, precept upon precept,...and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts,...for unto him that receiveth I will give more.'...Humbly ask the Lord the following question: 'What is keeping me from progressing?'  In other words: 'What lack I yet?'  Then wait quietly for a response.  If you are sincere, the answer will soon become clear.  It will be revelation intended just for you. ...The Spirit can show us our weaknesses, but He is also able to show us our strengths.  Sometimes we need to ask what we are doing right so that the Lord can lift and encourage us."  (Elder Larry R. Lawrence -- for full talk, go here)

"Dating is the opportunity for lengthy conversations.  When you date, learn everything you can about each other.  Get to know each other's families when possible.  Are your goals compatible?  Do you share the same feelings about the commandments, the Savior, the priesthood, the temple, parenting, callings in the Church, and serving others?  Have you observed one another under stress, responding to success and failure, resisting anger, and dealing with setbacks?  Does the person you are dating tear others down or build them up?  Is his or her attitude and language and conduct what you would like to live with every day?  That said, none of us marry perfection; we marry potential.  The right marriage is not only about what I want; it's also about what [he]---who's going to be my companion---wants and needs me to be."

(p.s. Loved this quote.  But, it also is strange to be in a situation where dating counsel applies to me again.)

"A wonderful Church member recently told me, 

'I didn't raise my children on money; 

I raised them on faith.'"

(both of those quotations were from Elder Hales' talk -- for full talk, go here)

(Activities: note taking, snacking, drawing, engino building, Mia and I making mosaic trees with construction paper)

"It is not only the prenatal carrying but the lifelong carrying that makes mothering such a staggering feat. ...most mothers know intuitively, instinctively that this is a sacred trust of the highest order. ...To all of our mothers everywhere, past, present, or future, I say, 'Thank you.  Thank you for giving birth, for shaping souls, for forming character, and for demonstrating the pure love of Christ.'  To all mothers in every circumstance, including those who struggle---and all will---I say, 'Be peaceful.  Believe in God and yourself.  You are doing better than you think you are. ...I can pay no higher tribute to anyone."  (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland -- for full talk, go here)

"...to effectively serve others we must see them through a parent's eyes, through Heavenly Father's eyes.  Only then can we begin to comprehend the true worth of a soul.  Only then can we sense the love that Heavenly Father has for all of His children.  Only then can we sense the Savior's caring concern for them.  We cannot completely fulfill our covenant obligation to mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort unless we see them through God's eyes.  This expanded perspective will open our hearts to the disappointments, fears, and heartaches of others."

(Elder Dale G. Renlund -- for full talk, go here)

"...we need women who know how to make important things happen by their faith and who are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world.  We need women who are devoted to shepherding God's children along the covenant path toward exaltation; women who know how to receive personal revelation, who understand the power and peace of the temple endowment; women who know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families; women who teach fearlessly."  (Elder Russell M. Nelson -- for full talk, go here)

There are lots of things I'm not sure about, many questions I can't answer.  But one thing I feel positive about, deep down into my bones?  

There are prophets of God on earth today.

I know this.

I feel it when they speak.

Their words bring peace, light, direction, truth, and blessing to my heart.

Food for belly and heart

Easter combined with conference weekend this year.

Lovely pairing.

Conference means spiritual and physical feasting.

It's a feast to me for body and soul, words and calories that soothe my insides, my belly and my heart.

Saturday morning began with eggs and orange slices and homemade cinnamon bread and Bircher Mueslix, a Swiss thing involving yogurt and fruit and oats and nuts.

(We eat a lot of it around here.)

We gathered round the table to eat, just as the radio brought the Tab Choir right into our kitchen, as 10:00 a.m. rolled around.  

 She has serious orange love these days.

 Then, our front room turned into this as the kids engaged in various activities and we listened.

That evening, after the second session and dinner, we gathered round the table to dye eggs, the first time participating for the smallest nugget in these parts.

That night, before I went to bed, I set out what they would find in the morning, and took a few minutes to write each of them a note.

My kids know what I believe -- we talk about faith on a daily basis.

But I wanted them to know of my conviction of Jesus Christ on Easter morning. 

He's the reason; He's the celebration.

 Easter morning was Belgian waffles with cream and berries, bananas and nuts, orange slices on the side.

After the second session, we headed down to my sister's house for a family BBQ and a hunt for the kiddos.

We hung out and talked, played some cards, enjoyed being together.

Good things.

Happy things.

Traditions -- these roots we send down in action, memories that become some of who we are.

(And, it must be said...I personally love Claire's little red salt water sandals.  They're my fave.)

Living With Hope

A year ago, I said goodbye to my Dad.

I said goodbye to being able to physically interact with him.

I said goodbye to conversations and laughs, 

traditions, working together, late night phone calls just because.

When I look at these photos, I remember climbing into bed beside him.

And I remember always being able to go to him as a little girl when I was afraid in the night.  He would let me snuggle up next to him for as long as I needed.

Or take me downstairs to get a snack of bread and butter with honey 

in the middle of the night.

He was there, always.  

Tender, quiet, gentle, concerned.  

He gave the gifts of strength and confidence and love.  

Always love.

These are really the last photos I have where I can see my father there -- a trace of his smile, his knowing, quiet eyes, the concern and love that he always had for others.  

Time was short.

He died just four days later, on a Friday afternoon.

Looking at these today, I am reminded of something 

Elder Wirthlin said in General Conference 8 years ago.

He referenced Good Friday, that Friday of Fridays, long ago, 

when the Savior was crucified.

He says "it was a Friday filled with devastating, consuming sorrow that gnawed at the souls of those who loved and honored the Son of God." 

And then he continues with this:

"But the doom of that day did not endure.

The despair did not linger because on Sunday, 

the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. ...

And in an instant the eyes that had been filled with ever-flowing tears dried.  

The lips that had whispered prayers of distress and grief 

now filled the air with wondrous praise."

Then, after pointing us to thinking about the resurrection, 

he makes greater application for every aspect of life, 

not just when we are facing death.  

"Each of us will have our own Fridays---those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces.  We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again.  

We will all have our Fridays.

But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death---Sunday will come.  

In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.

No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. 

...I testify to you that the Resurrection is not a fable."

I love this so much.

Whether you have kissed someone goodbye, watching life slip from their body, 

or just have encountered, 

as we all do, 

crushing disappointment and sorrow and hardship, 

there is hope.

And we all have times where we have to believe that.

My life, over the past year, has been full of many difficult surprises and turns.  

There have been so many emotions.

I have had to say goodbye more than once,

and in more than one way or circumstance.

I have felt broken.

I have felt beside myself, not knowing what to do.

I have felt angry and hurt.

I have struggled to feel at peace with myself, 

to forgive myself, to move forward.

My heart has ached with sadness.

But.

Even in those Fridays, I have noticed Sunday all throughout.

That is what I am thinking about today.

God doesn't leave us alone.

He sends angels -- in the form of people, and blessings, and comfort, and peace.

He gives you so many reasons to laugh.

In quiet moments, He reassures and steadies.

He blesses you in ways that you feel you don't deserve.

He cleanses and calms your heart by letting you know that Sunday is real.

His great gift is that we can trust Him; we can have hope.

And what I love about it is that hope propels us forward. 

It doesn't allow me to sit still and stagnant, 

stranded, without a way home.

No.

Hope whispers that all will be well,

that we are in God's tender care,

that we are experiencing exactly those things that we need to.

And, the secret I have found?

That in the moments that you feel you are broken, those cracks become filled with joy and peace and knowledge that doesn't come any other way.

It is there that God offers you "beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness." (Isaiah 61:3)

God lives.

I know this.

His matchless gifts of peace and love fill me with joy.

Some of My Top 10 List

 Snap shot of last night, once the house was quiet: the constant chattering and discussion of the dinner table was swept into hymn singing, religious discussion, followed by a game; there was ice cream and chapter book read-aloud, brushing of teeth, scripture reading, prayer, stories started on cds.

The kitchen was clean, the night air cool, the crickets talking outside.

Just a few nights ago, I had the privilege of attending this meeting.

Afterward, my dear friend and I walked for quite a while talking about life, about its challenges, about current questions we have, about balancing what is most important in your heart and trying to be a good Christian; in short, trying to live what you believe despite all of life's demands.

Towards the end of the discussion, the point was brought up that a change in perspective can mean everything.  That even amid life's challenges, it is vitally important to not lose sight of the myriad of blessings showered upon us, all the ways we can and should "shout for joy."

When I reflect on that phrase, there is much I can shout about.

Since homeschooling began in the house, the task of teaching has grown beyond moral lessons, religious instruction, or reading solely for pleasure.  (Although, isn't knowledge joy?)  The circle has grown to include numbers and letters, equations and words, reading, understanding, history, art projects -- the daunting task of trying to train, invite, and enlighten the mind.

(I feel so inadequate when I consider it this way.)

But when it comes to teaching matters of the heart?  

I might just love this the most.

I think anyone with children knows about those magical moments that hang in the air, almost tangible around you, like a cloak.

You know when you are discussing something with your children and you could hear a pin drop in the background?  Everyone is listening, totally focused, and you can literally feel the connection from your heart into theirs?

These conversations of the heart have to be close to the top of my top-10 list.

I love sharing what I feel is perhaps most important for them to know.

We are preparing for conference this weekend.  It is a special week, filled with anticipation.

Last evening, we talked about the Liahona that was given to the Nephites, mentioned in the Book of Mormon.  Counsel from prophets is our modern-day equivalent to that ancient guidance-giver.  I feel so deeply that we miss vitally important messages if we don't pay attention to it.  The Nephites missed crucial directions and instruction given to them, both temporal and spiritual, when they failed to see it as a special gift.

For me, messages from prophets of God might just be at the top of my top-10 list.

Remember this?

We're having a resurrection of sorts for this week.

An activity (or two) that focuses on conference prep each day, accompanied with an M&M afterward.

Sweet for the spirit, and sweet for the soul (that's how chocolate is for me, anyway).

(Chocolate's probably on my top-10 list, too.)

Remembering Conference

As I'm sitting here attempting to get this post together, the boys are rambunctiously running around, loudly.  I'm trying to concentrate.  

Here are some pictures of a beautiful weekend.  I love conference time, and I'll post a few favorite segments when the full texts of the talks are released later this week.

But for now...some pictures.

 A beautiful Spring morning.

Food: waffles with cream and fruit and yummy syrups on Saturday morning at Papa's house.

Mimi, who told me at 6:30 in the morning on Saturday that she was going to wear a dress because it was conference.  And she did.

The children playing with blocks -- and all of us listening (and watching) the first session together.

 Warm gooey cinnamon rolls after the first session Sunday morning.

 Mr. C. and Isaiah preparing potatoes for dinner.

Benj coloring in his journal page by the fire while listening.

Roast, mashed potatoes, salad, and roasted asparagus (a favorite) for Sunday dinner.

Beautiful sunshine out one day, cooler (windy!) and fire in the fireplace the next.

We watched old family videos between sessions on Sunday.

Those cute little boys and one of Mia's first bath -- listening to her newborn baby sounds was priceless.

And this morning, we watched this friend at the feeder.  Isaiah came to get me because he wanted me to notice his "bright yellow chest." 

And now, off to start school.

Other plans today include: the children watching a DVD after their schoolwork is done about ancient Egypt, exercise, making cinnamon bread, preparing for family night and dinner, our good friends bringing us manure to spread on the garden so we can till it in and plant on Saturday.

Tonight we're going to be talking about Easter and reviewing the Savior's life.  I'm so excited.  I love being able to share my feelings about Jesus Christ, His life, and His mission with our family.  It is the most important knowledge I can give them, in addition to helping them recognize the Spirit in their lives.

Last night I thought of how we would focus on Easter each day this week with the children.

I'll post about that this week, too.

Conference Reflections

Today I was thinking that it would be impossible to list all of my blessings, from the small and simple things to the things that are monumental and provide even the very structure of my life.

But.

It would be easy for me to tell you what tops my list.

My faith! Faith would be #1. My faith in Jesus Christ and His restored gospel.

This past weekend we had the opportunity to listen to a prophet of God. For our family, as for many others, these two weekends out of every year are steeped in tradition and wrapped in warmth for me. For any of you that don't know, conference is held twice a year, the first Saturday and Sunday in April and October. People all over the world are invited to listen in and be blessed by the counsel of prophets in our day. Do you know we have prophets on the earth today, teaching and testifying of Jesus Christ, just as was done anciently?

While I would say that my faith and belief in the Savior tops the list, today I am especially grateful for prophets, because they lead me and light the way, strengthening my faith in Jesus Christ. I treasure this with all of my heart, and cannot possibly convey with adequate language how profoundly grateful I am for this truth.

As with any of our other tradition days/holidays throughout the year, we have yummy food, too. Saturday morning we were with extended family and had Belgian waffles with freshly whipped cream and sliced peaches. After the second session, Scott headed off to the priesthood session, a special conference for all the men and young men where the prophets give specific counsel to them (we similarly have a conference for the women of the church where we receive counsel from our own female presidency, as well as counsel from one of the prophets, and the young women of the church have their own special conference each year, too). While he was gone, I read my book, slept, and made raspberry jam.

This morning we had banana chocolate chip muffins and got to smell a roast cooking in the crock pot while we listened. We went to feed the ducks as a family in between sessions, and then came back to get the kids bathed and potatoes peeled before the last session started. Afterward, we enjoyed a lovely meal as a family.
We were counseled about all sorts of things in conference: the blessing of scriptures, personal revelation, new temples!, promptings by the Spirit, motherhood and parenthood, time management and the importance of spending our time and efforts where it matters most, repentance, sharing our beliefs, covenants we make at baptism and the blessings of the Book of Mormon, waiting patiently on the Lord, family history work, being a good father to your daughters, morality, the 10 commandments, covenants, the Savior's atonement, and focusing on nourishment for eternal life.

Conference Sunday in Pictures

Breakfast muffins

Table set for dinner

Time together around the table

Dinner: roast beef with homemade mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, steamed broccoli and cauliflower, salad, and homemade biscuits with homemade raspberry jam.

Lounging and listening ;)Listening to conference on the radio

It was a spiritual feast, and I feel so blessed.

It was particularly sweet (and at times, funny), as I listened to my children mention things they had heard.
As I sat listening to Sister Elaine Dalton, who gave a beautiful address to fathers about how to be a good father to their daughters, she mentioned the importance of giving their daughters priesthood blessings often. Benji was listening, because right after she said something about that, I heard him say,"When I have a baby, I'll get to give it a blessing, too," already learning about his role to bless others as a priesthood holder.

I'm sure it will be obvious to some of you who he was referring to, but Isaiah showed a picture of one of the Quorum of the Twelve to Scott today and said that he knew his name. When Scott asked him who it was, he said, "Elder Mallard."

And when, at dinner, I asked them who their favorite speakers had been, we cracked up at Mia's response. She said she liked Pres. Uchtdorf's, and then followed it up with, "He is so handsome."

If you want to hear the prophets, and the lovely and inspiring messages from this conference, you can go here to listen and study and download and read. I promise you will hear truth.

I promise you will feel something (or many somethings) in your heart.